should be doing something else...

that seems to be my mantra, there is always this "something else" lingering, but what was it?
well currently i suppose it is getting dress, walking my dog, and getting to work. bleh.
it is friday and i have been out playing all week long, and last night is no exception. I went to a benefit party for a worthy cause for a lady i don't know but it was a great show with a ton of friends so i thought i should go.
in some ways for me to it was a reclaiming of a some society. do you know that scenario that happens when you take a lover to close to home? and then when the shit hits the fan it makes things a little awkward, seems to happen to me too much but i do have a weakness for interesting men. hmm, well yeah i've been feeling that, or i was and i was determined to get over my lame ass shit because it exists in my head only, and go have fun where i want to have fun, you know.

but as it may be the WAS was not present, his was and probably still is was present, and she had that hungry heroin look in her eyes. searching for the lover at the party when the lover is not man enough to commit, leaves you hanging on, giving just a little, just enough to make you unstable and unhappy for most of your interactions, or lack of interactions. yeah i've had that look, it made me remember that he needs a lot of work in a few areas and i was more "expensive" than that, as my friend Kae likes to tell me and i am better off without.

all this of course is in a flash, the catch, the light, the memories, and then i am back to watching one of the most amazing women of my acquaintance doing her preforming monkey bit, and dancing my ass off to the balkan brass band, Brass Menagerie.
I have memories again of my friend Tobias's house and walking into the kitchen with a full brass band blasting it, my first encounter with the Menagerie, at that time all i wanted was to get out and save my ears, who knew i would grow to love them so.

but now spike is realy wanting out, i am parked in a street sweeping zone, and really really REALLY need to get moving.

its been a long long time

since i wrote.
i just read through my last blog, over a year ago, and am happy to report that i am in a happier place.
so much has happened, life has that amazing gift of rolling along with no respite, and your choices are to sink or swim, sometimes i enjoy the sinking, but you must also get back to the rhythmic back stroke and find a new sandy shore.

life is not exactly as i have dreamed, but thinking in the stoic philosophy of life all is amazing exactly as i would like for now. being a Gemini i wonder if i can ever truly gain satisfaction and contentment.

work is work, despite the recession i have more than i can handle and i am paying off bills, saving for my golden years, saving for trips, keeping the dog in kibble, and still buying fluevogs here and there.

dance is great, we are in the middle of a dvd shoot, instructional work on floor work, we worked from 10-6 yesterday, and today my body is tired but nothing awful, no ungodly injuries to speak of. Tomorrow we wrap it up and i have a strange desire to make cupcakes for all involved, vegan chocolate with coffee icing.

i have to say i am particularly proud of myself in the are of dance, because i pushed myself a bit for the dvd and did a standing drop demo with CN, something i am capable of but not well versed in. i think i did okay, but i am interested to see how the footage looks. i was however nervous to the point of nausea when it was our turn, the whole troupe and camera crew staring at us, i was so off balance i almost fell over on the first one, i actually almost panicked and ran out of the room before the shoot, but i made my mind shut down and my body take over, so it was all fine in the end.

photography is good, still having shoots here and there, dancers, costumers, etc, i have a wedding coming up this september for a friend of mine, i am doing it for shoes! Ha i am a cheap hire!

personal life?

i was living in a gloomy little basement apartment for 18months, me spike and fatty, poor fatty didn't see the sunlight for a whole year and a half!
but we are out of there now and with my lovely room mate and fabulous costume designer Kathleen Crowley, she blogs too, find her at:

kathleencrowley.com


well bec just called got go...